Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Thoughts On: Star Wars, The Force Awakens Teaser

           Let me start by saying that I love Star Wars. That being said, the prequels are painful, Empire is the best, Midichlorians are crap, yadayada. After paying for a Hunger Games ticket just to see the teaser (for the big screen experience, I realize it was online), I came away with the following realizations...
Item 1, The New Lightsaber:
Lets just get this one done with, the new lightsaber is crap. If there is, has been, and always should be one factor from Star Wars that sets it apart from the rest of science fiction, its the damn lightsaber. This new saber didn't even have a solid blade, which bothered me almost as much as that awful cross guard (that everyone by now must realize doesn't protect squat) Maybe they have different lightsabers north of the wall.

Item 2, CGI...:
 What the hells up with that CGI Falcon? The X Wings didn't look great either. Seeing the Falcon reminded me of seeing those prairie dogs in Crystal Skull.

Item 3, The R2 Unit:
Lets face it, the R2 unit was on a Jabulani and it looked stupid.

Item 4, The Title:
It really doesn't help that the title of this movie isn't great. The way it slowly faded into the end of the teaser looked like I could have made it on pinnacle studio.

Bonus Item, The Storm Trooper:
Everyone's making a big deal about the storm trooper. The fact that he's black, or the fact that he's the main character and a storm trooper and black. The truth is, that was the best part of the teaser. That fade in of (what looks like) Tatooine was good on its own, but when John Boyega popped up on screen it scared the crap outa me. Considering that I half expected Mickey Mouse to be in the teaser, I never expected it to start that way, props.

           Episode 7 (am I allowed to call it that?) has every reason to be good, even if the old cast wasn't going to be in it (and no they didn't have to be in the teaser). I would write more, but I have lens flare in my eyes.