Tuesday, December 23, 2014

Thoughts On: The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies...Part 2

           Alfrid's nonsense, Legola's and Kate Austen's never ending fight with that one orc, Thorin's gold trip... The Battle of the Five Armies is the gift that keeps on giving...heres part 2...
Evangeline Lilly and Orlando Bloom were not first choice...

The Graboids:
Those were-worms were Graboids, and they didn't make any sense. Did the orcs pay them to tunnel them to Erebor? They were huge, why not just have them help out in the battle? Dig a giant hole under everyone...

Thranduil's Giant Elk:
Of all the things in things that made me not take this movie seriously, that elk was up there.
The scene where several orcs became hooked on the elks antlers and then decapitated by Thranduil's was ridiculous.
If you saw the movie, you know
exactly which scene I'm talking about

Dain's Giant Boar:
That boar was also up there...and the little horns that Dain had on his facial hair top the list of ridiculous facial hairs (and braids) in this prequel movie series.

Gandalf and His Pipe:
All the Hobbit movies are guilty of stretching source material, but The Battle of the Five Armies really got carried away with that. Nowhere was the intention to squeeze out time more apparent than during the Bilbo/ Gandalf scene at the end of the movie. Gandalf sits next to Bilbo and try's to light his pipe for nearly the same amount of time it took Thorin to die.

Legolas' Skills are Extremely Realistic Now:
Legolas has only ever had one responsibility, to combat the enemy in truly ridiculous ways. Legolas not only stabbed a troll in the head and drove him, he broke the laws of the universe by skipping up a series of falling stones, and most amazingly of all, he appeared in The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies without being in the book.

          I'll no doubt have more thoughts on this one. But I'll end the post here, I wouldn't want to stretch the source material.