Wednesday, November 11, 2015

'Spectre' 007... It Entertained, But...

           Look I'll cut right to the chase...while I was entertained by the latest James Bond film, it wasn't a great movie (certainly not the best of the Craig era). Here are my thoughts on 'Spectre'... Prepare to read the word 'Bond' a lot...


1. Relax People, It's a Bond Film:


I realize this is a Bond film which means it's going to be filled with unbelievable stuff like..

-Bond surviving the falling building in Mexico
-Bond surviving the falling helicopter scene in Mexico
-Bond recreating/ surviving the car chase scene from the Bourne Identity in Italy
-Bond not unplugging the camera while talking with Mr. White
-Bond chasing SUV's down a mountain with an airplane that fly's through a barn and hits it's target
-Bond going to the most evil guy's facility with absolutely no plan
-Bond using an exploding watch to escape from a locked chair connected to a brain drill
-Bond successfully shooting his way out of a facility after being drilled in the brain
-Bond successfully finding Madeleine Swan in an empty building
-Bond successfully shooting down a helicopter with a hand gun

 ...that said, I can't be too hard on this movie. It entertained me...which, as far as I'm concerned = mission accomplished. However, there were some things I still have issue with...

2. Christoph Waltz Could Have Been The Best Bond Villain Ever, But Wasn't:


One of the reason's I was excited to see this movie was because Christoph Waltz was in it... and I gotta say, the results were disappointing. I'll start with the whole, "Bond stole my dad's affection," backstory. You mean to tell me that due to some childhood jealousy with Bond, Christoph's character...

-Killed his dad
-Faked his own death
-Changed his name to Blofeld
-Started the most diabolical organization ever
...and dedicated his life to making Bond suffer?

I'm sorry but that was a bit of a stretch. I didn't feel that his connection with Bond helped his character in any way. To know that all his technological big brother power was literally born out of being a petty big brother.

           Despite the backstory, I wish I could've seen more of Waltz through out...because he simply came into the movie too late for me. I kinda felt like the movie was trying to shrug this off by explaining that Blofeld had been the puppet master of the previous films. I'm sorry but it's not enough to tell us that he's been there all along, we simply needed to see more of him. Had his character been more fleshed out, scenes like the one with the brain drill, might have been more engaging (because I literally watched that more confused than anything else). Considering how great an actor Waltz is... it just didn't feel like 'Spectre' made the most of him.

3. Some More Annoying Crap:


There's really no way to categorize the following issues I had with this movie, so I'll just say them out right...

A) After knowing Bond for what I can only imagine is less than a week, Madeleine tells Bond "I love you"? Sorry but no...

B) This movie's ending came across like some incarnation of Christopher Nolan's Batman. Damsel in distress is kidnapped by the bad guy. Blofeld then dabbles in the fine art of setting off bombs to explode in minutes (instead of, I don't know,  just killing both Madeleine and James right then and there) This coincidently gives our hero enough time to find the damsel and escape. Pretty text book stuff, then something unexpected...

C) James Bond shoots down Blofelds's helicopter with a handgun. Even with all the action leeway I give this movie, I saw that and laughed my ass off. I don't know what part of that was sillier... the fact that Bond attempted shooting it in the first place... or the fact that the helicopter didn't just fly away upon being shot at. I mean, just turn left...or right...or go higher. Damn, the final act of this movie was a mess.

           I'm really gonna give this movie the, "it entertained me," pass. Did 'Spectre's' plot really make a ton of sense? Not entirely. Was 'Spectre' worth the 9 bucks I spent to watch it? Yes, yes it was.

           So what did you think of this movie? Would you have killed some random dude just because you found a video of your dead boss telling you to do so?

Random Screen Guy Rating: 59.6584325325999999999999999